DOOMLANDS

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THE ARK


The Oasis runs out of beer and the crew head to a nearby club called The Ark to steal more. But club owners “Garry & Barry” lure Lhandi in with their alluring music and Danny ends up chained to them in a gimp suit. Lhandi & Danny eventually escape with beer but not without leaving a trail of destruction.


It’s chaos at the Oasis: taps are flowing, customers are fighting, there’s even a kangaroo doing backflips on the pool table. Behind the bar, Danny Doom is reminiscing his glory days, and retelling one of his embellished stories. Next to him is Jep trying to break up a fight without spilling his beer and Xanthena is (DOING SOMETHING SASSY). Back in the kitchen, Tetsuo is slicing up some fresh Zebra meat while keeping the cockroaches at bay. Underneath the chaos, and unknown to all, a hose runs from the keg room, all the way up through the hatch to above ground, where Lhandi washes herself with a makeshift beer shower. Lhandi is telling her Grandma she’s moved to a nice neighbourhood with sensible housemates. All of the sudden, the shower cuts out, the beer taps downstairs run dry, and the customers all leave. “Oops”, says Lhandi.


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Danny, Lhandi and the rest of the crew are at the bar deciding on where they should find more beer. Xanthena reminds Danny of the club that’s run by the eccentric duo Garry & Barry who have two kegs of every beer ever made. Danny immediately rejects the idea, he hates that place, but Lhandi is always keen for an adventure and convinces the rest that they go check it out.


The Oasis rises from the ground and sets its course to the club. On the way there Lhandi is glued to the window, watching the strange scenes of Doomlands pass by. They arrive at a massive Ark with a line of people out the front. Lhandi spies a hideous creature shouting to the crowds of people “The great flood is coming!” and she realises that the head of this creature is Garry, and the body is Barry. As they get to the front of the line, everyone gets denied entry except for Danny & Lhandi.


When they get onto the Ark, Lhandi is immediately enthralled by the raging dance club and is immediately lost in the crowd. Danny has a half assed attempt at finding her before stealing some beer and taking it back to The Oasis.


When Danny gets back to the bar with the beer, he’s keen to get as far away from the place as possible. But Xanthena demands he go back and get her and Jep backs her up by admitting he once spent an entire Summer trapped on the Ark. He then makes a “Doof doof doof!” sound that weirds everyone out. Danny eventually agrees when he realises the kegs he stole were empty.


Back on the Ark, the “Doof, doof, doof” continues and Lhandi is now DJing on stage and the crowd is loving it. Danny arrives at the ark and is immediately stopped by Garry & Barry. They know he stole from them and now they are going to make him their ‘new pet’! Amongst the chaos Lhandi slips out of her music-induced delirium and spots Danny in a full gimp suit on all fours, chained to Barry. A very sobering sight, Lhandi snaps into action and pours her beer all over the DJ decks. As everyone starts to sober up Garry zooms around trying to control everyone and work out what has stopped the music. Lhandi steals the keys from Barry and unchains Danny. A very violated Danny then kicks an empty beer can in frustration that starts a chain reaction causing the Ark to explode with beer and everyone is washed away.  


After a narrow escape, they manage to salvage some beer from the wreckage, and while Danny takes off his gimp suit and tells Lhandi “What happened at The Ark, stays at the Ark”. A giggling Lhandi replies “If you thought the shower was a waste, you just made hundreds of beers become extinct”. Back at the bar, Danny retells the adventures of the day… and of course, it’s the tallest tale he’s ever told. Danny won’t look at latex the same way again and Lhandi is happy about her first real adventure with Danny, but now has one over him next time she wants to take a shower.